I will pull my shit together....
Dear Lord, please help me pull my shit together.
2016 has kept me on my toes. This year has been a teacher of all things life-related. In no uncertain terms, I believe the year is a miracle and there are still miracles yet to be uncovered.
To be mildly transparent and honest, the year has been one large war. I've won some battles and lost others. I've even surrendered a time (or nine). To be honest, it's been a continuous challenge in so many ways.
But lately, as in the last two weeks, I've been privy to seeing messages all around me about speaking life. From tweets to sermons, sweet conversations and moments, happy hour karaoke (I recently realized I love karaoke with the right crew), God by way of the Universe has been on my ass about the narrative I'm speaking and repeating to myself.
I recently had to ask myself "what do you want?" After laying there for a moment, I realized I'd in some ways relinquished some of my most critical and important dreams. I'd let them fall by the wayside - unintentionally.
I'd like to take a quick moment here to say sometimes it's just fine when we choose to retire our dreams. Every dream isn't for every season.
However, where did I leave the ones I didn't retire? Why? What happened to change my mind about wanting certain things, or to be somewhere or be with someone (the one)? Dreams deferred? I'm not sure in some ways.
Sarah Jakes recently spoke about this space where we're afraid to hope and learning to speak and breathe life into dead things, dead situations and it's easily been one of the most powerful things I've heard. I had to wonder what had happened over these last months.
Disappointment, personal challenges, loss, frustration, what we perceive as dead dreams or things that may have went wrong and didn't turn out the way we wanted..... trouble at home, trouble at work... trouble within yourself... health challenges. Combine all of these at one time and then there's something that can just break you.
Before you know it, a person who is normally happy, is normally able to withstand anything is now a person who's lost their way and sometimes their will.
I know this too well because I've been living it - weariness and hopelessness that can overtake you in a way that makes everything feel like it's going wrong.
How did I make it to the other side? The right people, rest, tons of pain, many hours of tears and prayer, counseling, physical therapy and countless cases of wine. It's been work. It's been some of the hardest work I've ever done and it's been worth it.
What I've learned in reaching the other side is - maybe there's a reason for all of this...sometimes we get to these true valleys and managing to get back to a level point gives us an advantage to see what we couldn't before. What I do know is, I'm changed for the better from having made it through these things.
I also know for sure I've heard myself say some things, speak some narratives that haven't been the best for me. I need to correct it. I need to make changes.
Given all of this, it literally smacked me in the face earlier this week that I need to continue to elevate the way I care for myself -- and my spirit. I will speak more life. I will speak more on what I want. I will make great decisions for my life. I will believe in myself. I will have more joy. I will talk about what CAN manifest and what's truly possible. To speak in terms of the positive. To meditate and think on the good things I want, need and love. I will set affirmations. I'll do things that make me feel good. I'll spend time with the people who I love and love me. I'll live more fully. I'll encourage others. I'll do my best. I will pull my shit together.
The idea for the month is to work on giving ourselves a stronger foundation, to salvage what we can, to create our best lives. To speak more life and do things in a manner giving us room to be more fulfilled.
September is the month to continue my turnaround... to salvage the year and set the tone for the years to come. Please join me with #RescueOur2016.
As it goes, we all we got. You're the only you there is and God has a plan for you, for all of us.
I pray our month will be great and lead us to fresh moments and perspectives and all that God has for us. This month is the beginning of manifested dreams. I feel it and believe it.
P.S. There's a publishing date set for the book! I'll keep you all posted!