Saving September, Salvaging 2016 and Our Foundations

I will pull my shit together....

Dear Lord, please help me pull my shit together.

2016 has kept me on my toes.  This year has been a teacher of all things life-related. In no uncertain terms, I believe the year is a miracle and there are still miracles yet to be uncovered. 

To be mildly transparent and honest,  the year has been one large war.  I've won some battles and lost others.  I've even surrendered a time (or nine).  To be honest, it's been a continuous challenge in so many ways.  

But lately, as in the last two weeks, I've been privy to seeing messages all around me about speaking life.  From tweets to sermons, sweet conversations and moments,  happy hour karaoke (I recently realized I love karaoke with the right crew), God by way of the Universe has been on my ass about the narrative I'm speaking and repeating to myself. 

I recently had to ask myself "what do you want?" After laying there for a moment, I realized I'd in some ways relinquished some of my most critical and important dreams. I'd let them fall by the wayside - unintentionally. 

I'd like to take a quick moment here to say sometimes it's just fine when we choose to retire our dreams.  Every dream isn't for every season.

However, where did I leave the ones I didn't retire?  Why?  What happened to change my mind about wanting certain things, or to be somewhere or be with someone (the one)?  Dreams deferred?  I'm not sure in some ways.  

Sarah Jakes recently spoke about this space where we're afraid to hope and learning to speak and breathe life into dead things, dead situations and it's easily been one of the most powerful things I've heard.  I had to wonder what had happened over these last months.

Disappointment, personal challenges, loss, frustration, what we perceive as dead dreams or things that may have went wrong and didn't turn out the way we wanted..... trouble at home, trouble at work... trouble within yourself... health challenges.  Combine all of these at one time and then there's something that can just break you.  

Before you know it, a person who is normally happy, is normally able to withstand anything is now a person who's lost their way and sometimes their will.  

I know this too well because I've been living it - weariness and hopelessness that can overtake you in a way that makes everything feel like it's going wrong.  

How did I make it to the other side?  The right people, rest, tons of pain, many hours of tears and prayer, counseling, physical therapy and countless cases of wine.  It's been work.  It's been some of the hardest work I've ever done and it's been worth it. 

What I've learned in reaching the other side is - maybe there's a reason for all of this...sometimes we get to these true valleys and managing to get back to a level point gives us an advantage to see what we couldn't before.  What I do know is, I'm changed for the better from having made it through these things.  

I also know for sure I've heard myself say some things, speak some narratives that haven't been the best for me.  I need to correct it.  I need to make changes.  

Given all of this, it literally smacked me in the face earlier this week that I need to continue to elevate the way I care for myself -- and my spirit.  I  will speak more life.  I will speak more on what I want. I will make great decisions for my life.  I will believe in myself.  I will have more joy. I will talk about what CAN manifest and what's truly possible.  To speak in terms of the positive.  To meditate and think on the good things I want, need and love.  I will set affirmations.  I'll do things that make me feel good.  I'll spend time with the people who I love and love me.  I'll live more fully.  I'll encourage others.  I'll do my best.  I will pull my shit together. 

The idea for the month is to work on giving ourselves a stronger foundation, to salvage what we can, to create our best lives.  To speak more life and do things in a manner giving us room to be more fulfilled.  

September is the month to continue my turnaround... to salvage the year and set the tone for the years to come.  Please join me with #RescueOur2016.

As it goes, we all we got.  You're the only you there is and God has a plan for you, for all of us. 

I pray our month will be great and lead us to fresh moments and perspectives and all that God has for us.  This month is the beginning of manifested dreams. I feel it and believe it. 

With Love, 

Rae

P.S.  There's a publishing date set for the book!  I'll keep you all posted! 

On 2015.... What I Learned, What I Realize I Know, What I Don't Know

Here we are the close of another year.  I'm thankful.  Every year I have a chance to see and complete is a blessing.  The older I am, the more I realize how much of a privilege it is to start and close another year.  

I won't try and make this extra long or deep.  No need.  Reaching a point of gratitude and simplicity has ended up creating a need to say less. want to do more.... I want to say less.  I want my actions and my work to speak on my behalf.  Not that words aren't important.  They have their place.  I'm a writer -- words are necessary.  They don't replace taking action.  They don't make up for what doesn't get accomplished. 

What I Don't Know...

Most days, I pretty much feel like I don't know shit.   I know a few things. Some days the pieces come together.  It's come to my attention the more I learn, the less I know. Beliefs are overturned at times.  Ways I thought things should be done are expanded.  My heart opens a bit more while still being broken and I'm surprised at how my views contract on some things and expand on others.  This means, I'm ever changing.  I realized there's so much I don't know.  I'm thankful I don't have to know it all and I can change my mind at any time.

What I Realize I Know...

God is real.  Love is real.  Love can fix a multitude of sins.  Hard work does indeed pay off. Working on behalf of yourself is always a good idea.  It's important to assist and serve people. No matter how much you want things to work out sometimes, the shit doesn't work.  We (read I) can survive when shit doesn't work out.  Writing a book is hard.    Putting a book together in its final stages is hard (well worth it but hard).  I enjoy being home way more than I should especially when I need to be out for work and to take photos.  I have a terrible potty mouth and don't plan to make any changes to it.  I'm happy to be where I am in life.  I like myself.  It's ok to have days when I'm unhappy.  People may choose not to stay and it's ok. I like planting things.  I still love to cook.  I can take on something I know absolutely nothing about, work hard and sometimes I win and other times I don't. 

What I Learned...

[wash rinse repeat of what I know - see above]

Really - more than I expected.  In taking a new job this year, I now know how hard I CAN work and the hours I CAN put in.... that I can actually get up at 3 or 4 in the morning to be somewhere.  The job has helped me hone the art of being meticulous.  This means everything.  It's prepped me and taught me I have the fortitude and stamina to get the things on my personal list done.  In fact, the hours and work alone fuel me to get all of my OWN projects completed. 

I've learned there's a whole process to being able to move past things I want and won't get - or at least not get them in the way I was thinking.  Sometimes this means a matter of coping, other times this means a matter of understanding something may not have been for me.  I've realized photography saves me in ways I didn't know it would.  It's helped me to see things differently in and outside of the craft.  I tend to be the girl who believes I'm blessed to have a glass half full, I'm excited I have a glass...photography makes me want to capture everything I see that needs to be remembered.  A person, a moment, a place.  It's also helped me be present in the moment.  A photograph is a snapshot of a moment I'll never have again.  It's unique in that no one can take the same photo again. 

I've learned when things are done in pure love, with passion you have no choice but to succeed at some point.  Just gotta hang in there. 

One other important thing the year brought to me is the need to speak up for and stand up for myself.  To be fine with the idea that some days, I may need to say things and discuss things and bring truth to light - even when it's not comfortable for others.  The art of opening my mouth and having courage to deal with whatever comes.

I've learned to care less of what others think.  This doesn't mean I don't care.  It means there's a time and a place for it.  It means there will be times no one agrees and it's just fine.  It means those who do care, I check in with them and they'll still respect me when I go a different direction.  It means I'm most worried about impressing myself (and God).

I've learned my so called fucks to give have been absolutely reallocated to myself and a few others. There comes a time when you need to choose to save yourself.

I've also learned in real time, the old saying "Hit dogs holler" is the absolute truth.

“There are years that ask questions and years that answer.” ~ Zora Neale Hurston

I think to this quote every year as it turns - was this a year that answered questions or a year that asked them?  There's another series of lessons I'll save for another date, for another time. This year was without a doubt a year that answered questions.  A  year that solidified who I am and who I want to be.  There were questions that had been pending for years.  There were feelings that had not been resolved.  This year?   Foundations were laid, resolutions were had - even if I had to resolve some things wouldn't be resolved.

I can be nothing but thankful.

May your remaining days of 2015 be amazing, bring clarity and love.  Here's to 2016 being a year of building, of progress, of restoration, harvesting and planting.  

On Sharing Plans

I made myself a promise that I'd print my photos.  These were made using Artifact Uprising.  I surely plan to order another set.  These happen to live at work.  I need a separate set for the house.  There's something about holding photos in your hand and being able to rearrange them.

While I'm here, this post is about sharing your plans.  It's also about knowing who and when to share ideas of those plans.  

While many of us have experience with it, if you're a creative and if you're any good, putting your stuff out there, then it's possible you've had someone steal your work.  Maybe they've presented it as their own, maybe you mentioned an idea in passing and next thing you know, your idea was being churned out by someone else who had no authorization to do so.

I've had it happen to me.  I've seen it happen to some of my closest friends in business as creatives.  Things can be taken.  That's the lesson. 

We were having a conversation per our ususal on planning and who you're able to share things with.  Who will successfully support your dream and not take it.  That number is often very low.  It's a shame.  But it's the reality of business.  It's the reality of the world.  

I also believe this is where having the right people surrounding you is key.  Sometimes, we meet amazing people and we can't see them as the blessings they are.  I know I've missed out on some opportunities in the past because at the time I was too hurt to tell them my ideas much less ask them for help. 

Asking for help is its own problem.  What happens when we're met with a no?  Or a yes and no follow through?  I've learned if this is the case, we have to choose our team better.  From the closest friend to our business associates, it matters.  

My thoughts on sharing?  Know the person.  Watch them and how they do business.  If you can form a friendship, mentorship, then do that.  Get to know them.  As you're working on your next big adventure, ask their thoughts.  You're going to have to trust someone.  There's no doubt about that but trust them to help you and do right by you and your plans.  This goes for business, for love, for personal matters.  Have people around you that will make you better, nourish your dream and also tell you when you've lost your absolute mind (but will also stick right by you).

Have people present who you don't have to think twice about sharing your dream with.  No woman or man should have to walk the journey alone.  

A not-so-quick thought for Monday. 

Tell me, what are your rules for sharing plans?  For sharing the good things happening in your life? Do you hold everything close? Do you choose to only share certain plans?  Let me know your thoughts.