On Sharing Plans

I made myself a promise that I'd print my photos.  These were made using Artifact Uprising.  I surely plan to order another set.  These happen to live at work.  I need a separate set for the house.  There's something about holding photos in your hand and being able to rearrange them.

While I'm here, this post is about sharing your plans.  It's also about knowing who and when to share ideas of those plans.  

While many of us have experience with it, if you're a creative and if you're any good, putting your stuff out there, then it's possible you've had someone steal your work.  Maybe they've presented it as their own, maybe you mentioned an idea in passing and next thing you know, your idea was being churned out by someone else who had no authorization to do so.

I've had it happen to me.  I've seen it happen to some of my closest friends in business as creatives.  Things can be taken.  That's the lesson. 

We were having a conversation per our ususal on planning and who you're able to share things with.  Who will successfully support your dream and not take it.  That number is often very low.  It's a shame.  But it's the reality of business.  It's the reality of the world.  

I also believe this is where having the right people surrounding you is key.  Sometimes, we meet amazing people and we can't see them as the blessings they are.  I know I've missed out on some opportunities in the past because at the time I was too hurt to tell them my ideas much less ask them for help. 

Asking for help is its own problem.  What happens when we're met with a no?  Or a yes and no follow through?  I've learned if this is the case, we have to choose our team better.  From the closest friend to our business associates, it matters.  

My thoughts on sharing?  Know the person.  Watch them and how they do business.  If you can form a friendship, mentorship, then do that.  Get to know them.  As you're working on your next big adventure, ask their thoughts.  You're going to have to trust someone.  There's no doubt about that but trust them to help you and do right by you and your plans.  This goes for business, for love, for personal matters.  Have people around you that will make you better, nourish your dream and also tell you when you've lost your absolute mind (but will also stick right by you).

Have people present who you don't have to think twice about sharing your dream with.  No woman or man should have to walk the journey alone.  

A not-so-quick thought for Monday. 

Tell me, what are your rules for sharing plans?  For sharing the good things happening in your life? Do you hold everything close? Do you choose to only share certain plans?  Let me know your thoughts. 

The Renewal of Spirit

What if it's really true that we get what we believe we deserve? 

It's funny how the last 12 months have taught me things about myself.  I'm self-aware - maybe even a little too self-aware.  Sometimes, when all of the information has come rolling in at me, I've had to shelve it.  I've had to put it on the back burner because I didn't have the time or wherewithal (I love that word) to deal, to take it all apart and still manage to function in my life.  

In my last post I wrote about how during mornings, there's no room or time to lie to myself.  Any truth I've been holding back or harboring seems to come to the forefront at pre-dawn hours.  

This morning's revelation: I've been depriving myself.

Not in the sense of actual starvation of food, but starvation from the things, moments and situations that would most benefit my life.  Fear of movement, fear of closing doors on situations, being able to say no, not settling for less, seeking out more, protecting myself and taking good care of myself.  It's so glaringly apparent now because I AM taking care of myself.  I am ready to receive all the things God has planned for me.  I've even prayed that if something isn't for me - Lord, help me to let it go.  I'm there.  

I firmly believe God blesses those who make moves.  Moves require courage. Make them.   My personal believe?  God blesses those who hustle and make moves.  You can start the project, the process and then you start to see the Divine enter and assist.  This is where you have to work.  Sweat equity.  God blesses the sweat y'all - and the tears.  

I've read many times over that we get what we negotiate, we get what we believe we deserve.  I've found in the last year or two, there's merit to this thought.   Am I perfect?  By no means.  Do I fuck up?  Regularly.  However, those things don't negate my overall value.  This has been the hardest thing to grasp during my 30s. I find it funny though because I love imperfect people and things.  I love people who aren't meeting beauty standards. I love seeing people break beauty standards.  

Who and what I find beautiful has often been odd to many.  Maybe it's the way my vision is set up.  I'd always asked God for Him to help me see and hear as He sees and hears.  I'm hoping that's what's led me to want to capture so many moments.  It's just when you have to apply those beliefs to yourself and fix and repair the things that have happened over the years it's easier said than done.  It's easier to hold on to the things you've done wrong (or at least it seems it is) than it is to forgive yourself and thrive.  For many of us, I even find succeeding and doing well - we're hiding it.  We're embarrassed to be this happy, doing this well, be this in love.  We're scared to thrive and succeed because that tells us a lot about ourselves too.  

With my faith in God, I've also realized dimming my light feels wrong.  I don't need to flaunt.  I just need to be myself. My full self. 

It tells us how we're capable.  Success puts us to task and keeps us on our toes. We're afraid that we may not be able to repeat our success.  Or we're worried we won't be able to maintain the pace, that we actually now have to do things and try harder.  

I get it.  That's been me over the last few years.  Sometimes, you're in a place and you can't quite see your way out of it.  Seeing your way out of it, you realize you've still got PTSD from the situation.  You realize you've been depriving your own spirit of all the good God has to offer.  I decided this morning, I would do my best to give myself the best and do the best by myself from here on out.  I owe that to God, my family and myself.  

I realized this morning, I'm in recovery from a deprivation of spirit and I intend to recover post haste.  There's a rebuilding happening. There's an expansion. There's no time to waste.  Life is to be lived richly.  Make good decisions.  Recover from the bad decisions. Make moves to bless your life.  Choose good people to surround you.  Love yourself fully and wholly and love your life - no matter what state it's in, it's a blessing.

I pray you'll find your sweet spot and give yourself all you deserve.  I pray you can forgive yourself and receive all God has to offer in this life. 

 With love and negritude this morning, 

Rae

Bending Over Backwards

It's August and with that, we're well over half of our year.  I'm not sure about you, but I don't know where the time has gone.  Truly.  I turned 40, started a new job, have been working on the book and here we are - at August. 

I happen to love August.  A couple of my favorite people on the planet made their earthly debuts this month so it holds a special place in my heart for those reasons.  Lately though, I've been feeling like things were shifting and changing.  In a good way - nonetheless still shifting and changing.  I'm sorting through photos and high-fiving some of them (like this one) and upset with others but that's the nature of things.  100 photos and more than likely I only *love* five.

Let me get to the point.....

I'm tired.  I had submitted this to an art show and they rejected it (their loss), but titled it "Bending Over Backwards" and well - it's relevant.  

I've reached a pinnacle, a nirvana of sorts where I'm not about to add all of this effort for things I don't want to fucking do.  If I want to do it great.  If I don't want to do it, I'm not doing it unless 1) God says I need to do it 2) It's a life or death matter 3) I realize it's a necessary evil for reaching a desired goal. 

I've also given up attempting to please people as a general rule.  Why? Well, most people are never happy.  It's best to find people who think you're amazing (and not in a yes-person sort of way but in a hey you're awesome and I love you but I'll still tell you when you're fucking up sort of way).  

That pretty much sums it up.  This is what happened when I  reached a certain point in my life. I can't even blame it on an age.  I've had enough of the bullshit and the whole bending over backwards business gets old.  Very old.  You end up tired and worn with nothing to show for it.  

These days, I'm all about the return on investment (even if it's intrinsic value) and sometimes having something to show for all of the work, the effort, the tears, the time and the effort I've been putting into place.  I can't and won't discourage you from doing from others - in fact I highly recommend it.  I just say there comes a point when you need to work things out in favor of your own life.  Or at least that's the narrative I've advised myself lately.  

The people, moments and things that matter most to me are what I'm focusing on these days. I can say with age, some sort of honing device kicks in because I've realized there might be less time than before, there might be less time with the people and the moments I want to hold close.  That's enough of an alarm for me.  

I happened to talk with my godmother today and as always she imparted some real wisdom. Hers is the kind of wisdom that has me taking notes and changing the current state of affairs. She always brings things into perspective and I'm thankful for it.  

Special note: this is my year to get my shit together. 

Remember, it's your life to live and create.  Your moments to spend as you choose.  Choose wisely.

What's important to you?  Who matters the most to you?  What are the most important moments for you?  Are you looking forward to something?  Looking forward to a moment? How's your year been? Planning for 2016?

My 10 Loveliest Memories + Moments

On yesterday, I celebrated 40 good years on this here beautiful globe.  I tend to celebrate the entire month.  This time around, it's been different.  It was a quiet celebration.  Small moments meaning the world.  I spent my day taking photos and riding around.  I had Chik Fil A for lunch, because really, this is the 35th anniversary of my fifth birthday.  The most asked question yesterday and today was "how do you feel?"  My answer: amazing! I don't mind getting older. It's the younger years I look back on and am amazed that I made it this far.  I'm truly thankful, content and blessed.

I decided yesterday I need to actually appear more on the blog.  Photographers have a tendency to not always photograph ourselves.  Or I've found I do so less now.  But I still need to document myself and my life.  So I started yesterday officially.  Being in front of the camera teaches me about photographing others as well.  Part of the day was spent on my favorite set of railroad tracks with a tripod and my 50mm lens and a remote.  It was so funny as cars crossed the tracks and would slow down. I'm pretty sure someone stopped and took a photo of me taking photos of myself.   I love this picture because it's blurry (faves) and we can see it as the road that's behind me or any way to look at it.  In the coming years the challenge will be to also star more in my own art.  

I wanted to do something different this time around.  I've talked about lessons in love and life on previous birthdays.  I still have the lessons and many of them hold true. It's just there are all these gray areas these days.  I don't feel up to listing lessons.  It seems the more I learn, the less I know.  If you could locate all the fucks I have to give about non-important issues you'd likely be wealthy.  Whatever fucks I haven't already wasted or spent have been allocated on myself, the important people in my life and my personal and business endeavors.  

I'll venture out to say things get hazy and crystal clear at the same time.  The things you most need to see and pay attention to present themselves.  It's as if you see them for the first time. 

So this year, I'm listing ten (10) of the most important moments in my life and in the next post I'll list 30 moments or things I'm looking forward to in this next decade.

10 Lovliest Memories + Moments 

1.  My grandparents.  Man, I have stories upon stories with these folks.  From road trips to Eutaw, Alabama and Atlantic City to driving across country to California.   They provided me with the basis for how I see the world. I see the world through their vintage eyes and with their love. It was a blessing I couldn't have ever imagined. God knew. They gave this little girl a foundation to stand on - and now, more than ever I'm thankful for it. 

2.  Moving from Birmingham to The DMV. Two days before I left I was robbed. Then still gathered the money and pushed forward. My friend at the time bailed. I drove a uhaul with a car hitched behind it and with about $300 in my pocket. The job I wanted - offered me less and I turned it down. I found another one and well, the rest is history. But it was harrowing and I don't advise moving this way. However, I was trying to get to something better. I did.  It taught me a lot about myself.  I was 25 and crazy.  Again, I don't recommend managing things this way.  However, surviving it made me tougher, better.

3.  Meeting this one man who managed to change my life and then set me on a course to be a better me. I'm thankful for his presence. Sometimes, people are there to help you move to the next phase of your life - whether you like it or not. I can honestly say he's played a key part in that transition.  If you're reading this my dear Surly Curmudgeon, I love you and I thank you.

4.  Working for the job I just quit. My last day at this job was a couple of days ago. I was able to meet amazing people, learn, become emotionally and spiritually stable, care for an ill parent, find sure footing, met friends who became family, re-ignited my creative side + my interest for photography and this job led me to the man in #3 and then to the new job that begins on Monday. 

5.  Visiting Nigeria. That was the moment I knew I needed another camera. I cried when I left. I wanted to stay, explore and find out what the land had to tell me. Omowale - the child has come home. Dont ever let anyone tell you that you don't need to visit Subsaharan Africa. You do. As a Black girl, there's something about being able to touch down on the continent and spend time there. You're never the same again.

6.  Buying a camera. This goes without saying, but purchasing this little Canon T3 completely changed my life.  It gave me something to look forward to doing.  It's given me an additional way to showcase the beauty in the world, capture memories and even create them.  It makes me want to get to places just to see them and bring them back with me.  It's helped my writing and it allows me to show others the world through my eyes without saying a word.  

7.  Starting a blog and putting my work into the unisphere. About four years ago, I started my first blog that I was actually willing to share.  I had started others, but wouldn't dare tell anyone about them.  It was time.  I was calling myself a writer - I just wasn't writing.  Writers write.  Part of that may only be for ourselves.  I selfishly need to write.  It helps me work many things through.  I return to something I've written and am amazed at the insight on the page.  I've had times I needed a good word to get me through and returned to my own writing and it helped me. Here's the thing - putting it out there and connecting with others helped me make new and amazing friends, connect with other creatives and has encouraged me to greater things. 

8.  Went to counseling.  Without waxing poetic too much, I'm an advocate of fully caring for yourself.  Physically and mentally.  I knew 40 was coming and I wanted to avoid the "wigging out" that I've seen many go through.  So, when life decided to crash around me at 37 I decided it was time.  Those few months of heading to counseling made all the difference.  It helped me fix parts of my foundation where there were leaks versus thinking I needed to burn the house down.  

9.  All of those seemingly ordinary moments we tend to take for granted.  Sitting with friends and having coffee.  Laughing with loved ones who are no longer here.  I miss being able to see my grandmother and take her for pizza.  Being able to sit in comfortable silence with someone you love. Reaching for my man from across the bed and wrapping myself around him as he sleeps.  Clean sheets.  Fresh, hot coffee.  Ice cold sangria.  Perfect lasagna.  A good night's sleep. Sunsets. Sunrises. Waterways. Alleys. Vintage things.  Babies. Puppies.  Kittens.  Kisses. Tight hugs. Good Indian food.  Sweet potato pies on porches. Long drives with no destination. Ice cream in random places.  Incense. Candles.  Snow.  Ice.  Raindrops.  Hot showers. Expensive soaps.  Station wagons.  Road trips.  Music.  Walks.  This list alone could be endless.  It's all of the sweet and ordinary moments that create our lives.  Those times we tend to ignore but shouldn't. I'm thankful for those.

10.  Turning 40.  It's been such an amazing ride.  Talking with my parents we all marvel at the general atrocities life throws at you and have been amazed at the grace of God.  I look back and the only thing that helps me add up how I've managed to survive is God's grace.  That's it. I mean sure, I've made a few good choices in my life, but without God I can't say anything would have come of my life.  Each of the moments above I attribute to Him (Her if you feel better about it).  

Well, here's to more of doing what we love and creating the moments that make our lives a good one.  Sending you love! 

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Life + Writing Prompts Vol V

Along the way of working on the prompts, after a few installments, I decided to post the remainder of the prompts at one time. This post has a mismosh of life prompts and actions.  It's important.  Because I'm all about love and living your best life, these prompts are dedicated to both and some are dedicated to a little bit of imagination.  

What do I mean by Best Life? I mean reaching a place where you enjoy your life.  You're not reaching back in the past for lost moments.  You're not always anticipating the future.  You're content where you are while appreciating what's happened and are looking forward to the future.  Your best life can look different at different moments.  What I needed or wanted in my twenties changed in my thirties.  On the brink of my forties there's another shift beginning and I suspect it may change again.  There's no right way, there's no one answer and you have the ability to change your mind, change your course at any moment.  Always keep that in mind. If you want to change your life and you're reading this, you have the power to do so.

1.  What does it mean for you to live your best life? List the components of what you believe looks like the life you want to live.  Now, write down what you believe is holding you back.  Do you think you need more money? A partner? More education? A better wardrobe? Most times, our best lives hinge on the smaller things and making the most (and best) from what we have. 

2.  What do you think of your life right now?  Is it amazing? Are you satisfied? This isn't a trick question but a gauge. It's a barometer to better understand where you are in this moment.  It took me some time to be able to manage through my issues.  My twenties and most of my thirties were spent trying to hold on and figure life out. There were many dark nights of soul.  There were many moments of insecurity. However, I'm a firm believer in attitude, prayer, faith and a lot of hard work.  Somehow, I'm here today to write and talk about it.

3.  As the days pass, we have to understand there's something about getting to that moment where things begin to fall into place.  Let's talk about your long and short term goals.  What do they look like?   By short term we're talking five (5) years and by long term we're talking ten (10).  This isn't a new concept.  People talk about it all the time.  But here, I need you to describe what your life will look like in five and ten years.  

4.  What's your current living space look like?  Is it liveable?  Goal : unfuck your space.  Clean it.  When you're in a good place and the space is clean, you can think.  I've mentioned this before, but it's so important to have a place where you like to be.  Buy a new set of sheets from Marshalls, Target or wherever. Get yourself a good meal.  Sometimes we have to break things back down to the simple basics. 

5.  Who are the people who have been there for you and who've been a blessing to you?  I'd like you to send them a thank you card and a small gift.  The gift can be under $20 but send them something thoughtful - a journal, a candle. a bottle of wine / whisky / flask, a gift card to Starbucks or a small store.  But something small.  Please note: You're not allowed to send me anything.  You have to pick someone that's not me.  I have to say that because some of y'all will mail stuff - you know who you are....

6.  I was talking with a good friend of mine one day and he told me that every day, he does one thing he wants to do. Not something he has to do, but wants to do. Today, and for seven days after this I'd like you to do one thing you want to do each day.  It could be sitting at a bookstore and reading, taking a long walk or nap (both?), sitting down and organizing something or even doing something creative.  It can be whatever you want it to be, as long as it's something you've been wanting to do. 

7.  I don't believe we have to travel far or great to have the best experiences or to learn.  Have you visited the free museums in your area?  The parks?  Other spaces? A local farmer's market? A specialty grocer? There's something about heading to local attractions within your city or town.  Make a list places that are within an hour of your home (longer if you're rural) and plan out a few day trips. 

8.  Tell two (2) people you love them.  Give them a word of encouragement and thank them for being in your life.

9.  If you know of someone in need today, please offer a helping hand.  Even if it's the donation of your time.  It doesn't have to be money. Offer to babysit, run errands, cook a meal, clean up or just head over there to sit and talk.  People in need don't always ask for help. I'm sure if you look around and you typically don't have to look far, you'll find a close friend in need of a bit of love and assistance.

10.  Write five (5) writing prompts for yourself.  My gmail notes, Evernote, notebooks and other elusive places are filled with ideas.  If you're anything like me, there's something everywhere.  Inspiration everywhere. use what you have.

11.  Time waits for no man.  We're often waiting for someone to encourage us, do things with us, tell us that we're enough.  So here it is, I encourage you, you have the power to do it and you're enough.  List 10-20 things you're putting off because you've been waiting for someone else's approval or arrival.  Go get your shit done.

12.  When we talk about best life and such, sometimes it means there are things we need to let go.  What is it you need to let go?  

13.  Write about the best day you've had.  You can choose any day.  What made it good?  Was it the place?  The people? What were you doing?  I've read that when you have those amazing moments, you attempt to recreate them as often as possible.  This is why it's important to think about them. 

14.  Challenge: sit at dinner with your significant other or best friend or yourself and don't use your phone.  Don't even look at or touch your phone. 

15.  Say the word no. Maybe you have something coming up that you really aren't into, just don't want to do.  We have to learn how to politely decline offers, situations and things.  Just practice it today.  But say it. 

16.  Part of feeling and being empowered can begin with something small.  What makes you feel powerful?  What makes you feel beautiful?  Is it eating better? Working out?  Getting a massage?  A mani pedi?  Getting your hair done?  Do something for yourself that's small but is the basis of making you feel better.  I know for me, I love getting a mani pedi.  I also feel amazing after I've worked out.  It makes having the pizza feel that much better because I've worked to be able to have it.

17.  Say yes.  What have you been turning down that you've always wanted to do?  What have you been talking yourself out of?  Or have you been afraid to try new things?  Say yes.  Learning to say yes - happily - is just as important as learning to say no.  

18.  Go to the doctor.  So many of us avoid the doctor because we don't want them to tell us that we have to lose weight, we should stop eating the way we're eating, we need to work on making some changes.  Maybe you've had bad experiences with the doctor, but I'm a believer in making sure your health is in order.  You can't have the best life when you avoid and neglect your health.  It means getting tested, listening, being honest and being ready to make changes.  If you're not insured, sometimes there are places that offer low to no cost physicals.  In DC, Bread for the City does excellent work and care.  It's so important to take good care of ourselves.  The body you have is the only one you'll get in this lifetime.  It has to take you where you need to go.  Do right by it. 

19.  This is more a piece of advice than it is anything else.  Determine to be happy.  I actually am prone to episodes of melancholy.  I had to find things that would and could snatch me out of that space.  For me? It's sharing here, writing and taking photos.  I didn't realize when I bought the camera what it would do for me. It's been a friend and a companion and a way to see the world.  It's kept me moving.  It's kept me inspired. For some they don't quite understand it, but there has to be a determination to be happy.  This is barring any sort of true clinical depression or anything (that's a very different scenario and during those times we have to seek professional help).  Determine that you will have a good life.  Making that decision alone can change everything.

20.  This is also a piece of advice.  It's all up to you.  There's no one else on the hook for your life.  You are the captain of this ship.  You can complain, fuss, choose to not make choices (which is a choice) but at the end of it all, it will have been up to you.  There are many people who have risen from the ashes to go on to do great things with their lives, with what seemed like nothing.  It's the movement and the determination that will carry you. Be tenacious about your life. 

So that ends the series of prompts.  I do hope they've at least made you think, take a few moments to consider things in your life.  It's important for us to make the best of it, make the most of it and still enjoy the time we have on this earth while leaving a legacy.  I'm thankful to have reached this point in my life.  I feel more confident, more sure about the things I want to do and where I am.  I wish you all the possible good, joy and love you can stand. 

With Love, 

Rae

If you're just discovering the prompts, here are the previous installments:

Vol I

Vol II

Vol III

Vol IV

Life + Writing Prompts Vol IV

"I'm open to all God has for me" 

How open are you?  What if God told you to let go of what was in your hands in order to give you more?  What if God wanted to see how you'd manage the current problems before you could advance to other areas of your dreams?

This post was difficult to write because it's not exactly in the form of formal prompts.  It's more so an ode to getting through our problems, loss and the awful moments we don't anticipate, the circumstances and perceived obstacles to bless us, teach us something about ourselves and move us further into who we're truly meant to be.  

What happens when we get off track? What happens when your path isn't clear? How do we turn life's detours and setbacks into something that can work for us? How can we take problems and come out of them stronger and better?

Talking with my father years ago, he mentioned adversity would make me stronger. I didn't want to hear that as a 23 year old woman struggling in school, money and trying to figure out how to eat.  I was livid. Turns out he was right. 

Who I am today has a lot to do with my upbringing and what I've thankfully and blessedly survived. 

So, first thing I have to impart is you need to live to tell the tale. That's the most important thing. If it doesn't kill you, you can get through it. Much of it is up to our attitudes, how we choose to look at things, who we choose to surround us in our lives.  It also means, you have to use your discernment to determine when and if someone should be in your life.  I've spent a lot of precious time holding on to things and situations that didn't want to be held.  Sometimes the difficulty was a way of getting me to let go.  Sometimes things get difficult in order for you to let them go.  Why is it we think things have to be difficult in order to be good?  Let me be clear, in any endeavor worth pursuing, there's going to be difficulty and hardship.  There will be things we have to get past and get over.  However, the entire time spent on an endeavor, a job, a relationship, a goal, should not be on managing problems.  There should be some enjoyment.  Drama is no one's ultimate destination.

All of this is critical. 

I was talking with Shefon who is such a bright light. I love her. And she briefly mentioned the notion of writing the key components to turning your bad into good and making lemonade when all you have is stacks of lemons.  I've talked about taking the death grip off of hope before and then as I was thinking about this next set of prompts about turning what we consider the bad into good, I was thinking about how maybe sometimes God uses those situations in order to help you along with your decision making.

Maybe you're having a hard time because it's a test.  Maybe you're having a hard time because there's something that needs to be developed in you.  Maybe you're having a hard time because it's not the time to work on that project or have that relationship.  Maybe you're having a hard time because it's time to let it go.  Discomfort signals something needs to be fixed or an action needs to be taken. There's an art to handling tragedy or the things we deem as "bad" and turning it into something good and prosperous.  In fact, I'd like to think it's part of that book of talents.  Can you take this wreck and do something with it?

1.  How do you handle loss, difficult moments and disappointment?  Do you shut down and play dead?  Do you go off?  Do you spend money, over eat, drink, etc?  I recently realized how I'm dealing with crisis differently than I used to.  It took a series of crises to get me to a different point.  A set of evolutionary tales to make me ask whether or not I valued myself and how I'd choose to make decisions going forward.  How do you respond when something negative happens?  Write down the different ways you've responded in an emergency or in a crisis (your own situation, that of a loved one).  Have you evolved over time? Writing out and taking time to consider how you respond can help you understand yourself.

2.  Learning how to manage our immediate response to something can change our lives.  There's a time to respond immediately (life saving, quick thinking in business) and there are times when we need to take a moment before we take action.  Action item: if someone says or does something this week that upsets you, take a moment before you respond.  Remember, once something is said, it can't be taken back.

3.  Think of something that's recently happened in your life.  What can you make of it?  Is there anything good that comes from it?  Is there anything you can glean from it? For me, I came to the conclusion that certain people were put in my life to show me love, others were put in my life to make strong.  Situations are often more about us that others.  

4. Managing regret. I've written about this a few times. Regrets can come back and replay themselves over and over again.  We get hung up on a certain moment, we get stuck there - replaying if we could've changed it. If we could've done better.  I've done it way too many times.  List two (2) major regrets.  These would be journal entries.  Then write about how the moment changed your life.  Have you been able to help others because of that moment?  Are you possibly better off and more mature because of it?  I tend to be the one who's happy she has a glass.  Not that it's full or half full, but that there's a glass.  My moments of regret - some of them very large - have changed the way I manage the relationships in my life, regrets have changed my heart.  I have to say, the regrets opened me up to being more of myself.

Are you paralyzed with fear? That’s a good sign. Fear is good. Like self-doubt, fear is an indicator. Fear tells us what we have to do. Remember one rule of thumb: the more scared we are of a work or calling, the more sure we can be that we have to do it.

~Steven Pressfield

5. Clearing space. There are times when we can't always pull our thoughts together.  Mind is cluttered.  Most often it might begin with something else being cluttered.  Action: CLEAN. Undo that mess that's sitting somewhere in your house, your car or office.  Sort through your mail.  Make necessary calls.  Whatever is pending.  Sometimes, we cause problems by thinking things will magically improve or get better when it requires work, faith and humility on our part.  Things don't get better unless we work for them to get better.  We have to face the things we most don't want to face sometimes.

The day you decide to wake up your life will be waiting for you. There'll be work to do, problems to solve, but there will also be blessings to be had, moments to savor. It's yours. But in order to live our life to its fullest potential, much of it is solving problems.  Time won't wait for you.  Life continues on.  Are you waiting for things to get better before you starting living?  Are you waiting to accomplish something before you allow yourself to experience something else fully?  That one part of a good life hinges on another?  That maybe you think life can't be good when you're broke, sick or heartbroken?  It can be good - but we have to weather the moments. 

“I write entirely to find out what I’m thinking, what I’m looking at, what I see and what it means. What I want and what I fear.”

— Joan Didion

There will be a set of eight volumes of the writing and journaling prompts.  To catch up on the previous editions of the writing prompts, see the links below:

Life & Writing Prompts Vol I

Life & Writing Prompts Vol II

Life & Writing Prompts Vol III

Ephemera and Sage Advice

Checking in.  I've been in the throes of intentionally working on my first book.  Not the sort of "I'm writing a book" as you think about it and don't write, but the actual sitting down and selecting, writing, editing, crying and cursing writing a book.  If you have a writer in your life, please hug them tight, love them tremendously and kiss them.  The work sometimes makes you insecure.  We see everything, we feel everything. It's terrible work.  Yes this is in all caps. You will have to deal.  The work is terrible.  i know i said that already. you still have to deal.  Which is why most of us never publish.  It's rewarding.  But it is daunting, terrible and I promise those of us truly working at it only do it because we are compelled in our spirit to torture ourselves in hopes the stories, poems, prose, thoughts we create are consumed for the greater good.

Again, terrible work. 

I can't give anything away.  I will tell you I've fallen in love with the book after fighting with it for months.  That means something for me. It's enough to make me keep at it until you have the work in your hands.

The photo above is something random I chose from my hard drive.  It seems a telling story for many reasons.  I'll leave it up for your interpretation. 

Among creatives we hoard things.  We keep slips of paper, notes, anecdotes, quotes, photos, old letters - ephemera.  I just needed a reason to use ephemera.  we keep it because it helps us later. I have tons of books spread about.  Old notes, new notes. we need it. we need things to review and look at

I was sifting through the thousands of notes I have and came across the text from a letter that famed playwright Noel Coward wrote to Marlene Dietrich on her horrible romance with Yul Brenner.  I'm not sure how I found it.  I may have been researching old love letters. Good writing and sage advice lives with you long after you read it.  this has stayed with me since i read it and it hit me again when i read it tonight.  i wanted to share it with you.. Read along and get your life.  This is a good word on love.

Noel Coward, to Marlene Dietrich, on her terrible romance with Yul Brynner:

Firefly Hill
Port Maria
Jamaica B.W.I.

Oh, darling,

Your letter filled me with such a lot of emotions, the predominant one being rage that you should allow yourself to be so humiliated and made so unhappy by a situation that really isn't worthy of you. I loathe to think of you apologizing and begging forgiveness and humbling yourself. I don't care if you did behave badly for a brief moment, considering all the devotion and loving you have given out during the last five years, you had a perfect right to. The only mistake was not to have behaved a great deal worse a long time ago. The aeroplane journey sounds a nightmare to me.

It is difficult for me to wag my finger at you from so very far away particularly as my heart aches for you but really darling you must pack up this nonsensical situation once and for all. It is really beneath your dignity, not your dignity as a famous artist and a glamourous star, but your dignity as a human, only too human, being. Curly is attractive, beguiling, tender and fascinating, but he is not the only man in the world who merits those delightful adjectives...Do please try to work out for yourself a little personal philosophy and DO NOT, repeat DO NOT be so bloody vulnerable. To hell with God damned "L'Amour." It always causes far more trouble than it is worth. Don't run after it. Don't court it. Keep it waiting off stage until you're good and ready for it and even then treat it with the suspicious disdain that it deserves...I am sick to death of you waiting about in empty houses and apartments with your ears strained for the telephone to ring. Snap out of it, girl! A very brilliant writer once said (could it have been me?) "Life is for the living." Well that is all it is for, and living DOES NOT consist of staring in at other people's windows and waiting for crumbs to be thrown to you. You've carried on this hole in corner, overcharged, romantic, unrealistic nonsense long enough.

Stop it Stop it Stop it. Other people need you...Stop wasting your time on someone who only really says tender things to you when he's drunk...

Unpack your sense of humor, and get on with living and ENJOY IT.

Incidentally, there is one fairly strong-minded type who will never let you down and who loves you very much indeed. Just try to guess who it is. XXXX. Those are not romantic kisses. They are un-romantic. Loving "Goose-Es."

Your devoted "Fernando de Lamas"