Life + Writing Prompts Vol IV

"I'm open to all God has for me" 

How open are you?  What if God told you to let go of what was in your hands in order to give you more?  What if God wanted to see how you'd manage the current problems before you could advance to other areas of your dreams?

This post was difficult to write because it's not exactly in the form of formal prompts.  It's more so an ode to getting through our problems, loss and the awful moments we don't anticipate, the circumstances and perceived obstacles to bless us, teach us something about ourselves and move us further into who we're truly meant to be.  

What happens when we get off track? What happens when your path isn't clear? How do we turn life's detours and setbacks into something that can work for us? How can we take problems and come out of them stronger and better?

Talking with my father years ago, he mentioned adversity would make me stronger. I didn't want to hear that as a 23 year old woman struggling in school, money and trying to figure out how to eat.  I was livid. Turns out he was right. 

Who I am today has a lot to do with my upbringing and what I've thankfully and blessedly survived. 

So, first thing I have to impart is you need to live to tell the tale. That's the most important thing. If it doesn't kill you, you can get through it. Much of it is up to our attitudes, how we choose to look at things, who we choose to surround us in our lives.  It also means, you have to use your discernment to determine when and if someone should be in your life.  I've spent a lot of precious time holding on to things and situations that didn't want to be held.  Sometimes the difficulty was a way of getting me to let go.  Sometimes things get difficult in order for you to let them go.  Why is it we think things have to be difficult in order to be good?  Let me be clear, in any endeavor worth pursuing, there's going to be difficulty and hardship.  There will be things we have to get past and get over.  However, the entire time spent on an endeavor, a job, a relationship, a goal, should not be on managing problems.  There should be some enjoyment.  Drama is no one's ultimate destination.

All of this is critical. 

I was talking with Shefon who is such a bright light. I love her. And she briefly mentioned the notion of writing the key components to turning your bad into good and making lemonade when all you have is stacks of lemons.  I've talked about taking the death grip off of hope before and then as I was thinking about this next set of prompts about turning what we consider the bad into good, I was thinking about how maybe sometimes God uses those situations in order to help you along with your decision making.

Maybe you're having a hard time because it's a test.  Maybe you're having a hard time because there's something that needs to be developed in you.  Maybe you're having a hard time because it's not the time to work on that project or have that relationship.  Maybe you're having a hard time because it's time to let it go.  Discomfort signals something needs to be fixed or an action needs to be taken. There's an art to handling tragedy or the things we deem as "bad" and turning it into something good and prosperous.  In fact, I'd like to think it's part of that book of talents.  Can you take this wreck and do something with it?

1.  How do you handle loss, difficult moments and disappointment?  Do you shut down and play dead?  Do you go off?  Do you spend money, over eat, drink, etc?  I recently realized how I'm dealing with crisis differently than I used to.  It took a series of crises to get me to a different point.  A set of evolutionary tales to make me ask whether or not I valued myself and how I'd choose to make decisions going forward.  How do you respond when something negative happens?  Write down the different ways you've responded in an emergency or in a crisis (your own situation, that of a loved one).  Have you evolved over time? Writing out and taking time to consider how you respond can help you understand yourself.

2.  Learning how to manage our immediate response to something can change our lives.  There's a time to respond immediately (life saving, quick thinking in business) and there are times when we need to take a moment before we take action.  Action item: if someone says or does something this week that upsets you, take a moment before you respond.  Remember, once something is said, it can't be taken back.

3.  Think of something that's recently happened in your life.  What can you make of it?  Is there anything good that comes from it?  Is there anything you can glean from it? For me, I came to the conclusion that certain people were put in my life to show me love, others were put in my life to make strong.  Situations are often more about us that others.  

4. Managing regret. I've written about this a few times. Regrets can come back and replay themselves over and over again.  We get hung up on a certain moment, we get stuck there - replaying if we could've changed it. If we could've done better.  I've done it way too many times.  List two (2) major regrets.  These would be journal entries.  Then write about how the moment changed your life.  Have you been able to help others because of that moment?  Are you possibly better off and more mature because of it?  I tend to be the one who's happy she has a glass.  Not that it's full or half full, but that there's a glass.  My moments of regret - some of them very large - have changed the way I manage the relationships in my life, regrets have changed my heart.  I have to say, the regrets opened me up to being more of myself.

Are you paralyzed with fear? That’s a good sign. Fear is good. Like self-doubt, fear is an indicator. Fear tells us what we have to do. Remember one rule of thumb: the more scared we are of a work or calling, the more sure we can be that we have to do it.

~Steven Pressfield

5. Clearing space. There are times when we can't always pull our thoughts together.  Mind is cluttered.  Most often it might begin with something else being cluttered.  Action: CLEAN. Undo that mess that's sitting somewhere in your house, your car or office.  Sort through your mail.  Make necessary calls.  Whatever is pending.  Sometimes, we cause problems by thinking things will magically improve or get better when it requires work, faith and humility on our part.  Things don't get better unless we work for them to get better.  We have to face the things we most don't want to face sometimes.

The day you decide to wake up your life will be waiting for you. There'll be work to do, problems to solve, but there will also be blessings to be had, moments to savor. It's yours. But in order to live our life to its fullest potential, much of it is solving problems.  Time won't wait for you.  Life continues on.  Are you waiting for things to get better before you starting living?  Are you waiting to accomplish something before you allow yourself to experience something else fully?  That one part of a good life hinges on another?  That maybe you think life can't be good when you're broke, sick or heartbroken?  It can be good - but we have to weather the moments. 

“I write entirely to find out what I’m thinking, what I’m looking at, what I see and what it means. What I want and what I fear.”

— Joan Didion

There will be a set of eight volumes of the writing and journaling prompts.  To catch up on the previous editions of the writing prompts, see the links below:

Life & Writing Prompts Vol I

Life & Writing Prompts Vol II

Life & Writing Prompts Vol III

Life + Writing Prompts Vol III

This is the third in a series of eight.  If you'd like to catch up on the previous writing prompts, here they are:

Life + Writing Prompts Vol I

Life + Writing Prompts Vol II 

We all need creativity in our lives. We need the ability to produce, give back and add value.  I'm certain this is a tenet of being human and feeling useful.  Now, how we use it is a different story. I'm sure there are things we all have to do and sometimes we don't do them.  We feign that we're too tired, not enough time, not enough money, not enough people around us to encourage us.  We blame work and other family responsibilities.  In other words, there's always something else that we can put in as a reason we're not doing things that fulfill us.  We can live a lifetime of adding in excuses and the whys of why we're not living, why we're not doing things we love.  

What I've come to know over these last four years of blogging and this last 18 months of picking up a camera is that we absolutely need to make the time to do these things. To meet the creative muse or the Spirit that feeds us, makes the world a bit brighter because we're in it.  Sometimes, we don't know what we're supposed to be doing.  Usually it's hidden in the things we do for free.  I know people say that all the time, but it's the moments that we feel most alive. It doesn't have to be what everyone tells you you're good at.  It might be something that no one knows you enjoy.  The secret is carving out more time to do it.  

LIFE + WRITING PROMPTS VOL. III

1.  Since many of you are writers and creatives, check out this 1998 interview of Toni Morrison by the Paris Review. You'll note she talks about creative rituals, her favorite pencils. Pay attention to yourself over the next few days. What are your creative rituals? You likely have them and never noticed them. I mentioned in the other posts about writing or creating when you're closest to your creativity. For me, it can be any time. But I do best in the mornings. The challenge has been getting up in the morning. Another funny thing has been that when I go out to shoot photos, I tend to head to the same spots over and over again.  I also have to stop at Chik-Fil-A for a spicy chicken sandwich, waffle fries and a lemonade.  It's become a habit.  Sometimes, I may clean the entire house.  Sometimes, I might procrastinate writing things down for months.  All of us have rituals.  It may not always be that way, but every time I head a certain direction, I'm going to stop at Chik-Fil-A.  Take a moment to think of the things that you do before you create.  Think of the things you have to have in place, how you do what you do and what your rituals are.     Note: as you come closer to your purpose and discover your passion, you realize you're willing to do things you normally would not do. Rise early, stay up late. 

2. Do you have what you need to make the most of your creativity at this time? If you're painting do you need art supplies? Is your space cleared and ready? Do you need to rearrange things?  Is it time that you need to carve out?  Are you thinking about doing what you love more than you actually do it?  Is there something small you can do that puts you more in the mood to create?

3.  Recommendations for creative reading:

Steven Pressfield's  The War of Art , Do The Work       

Maxine Clair's Imagine This: Creating the Work You Love

Lewis Hyde's The Gift: Creativity and the Artist in the Modern World

Anne Lamott's Bird By Bird

Guy Kawasaki and Shawn Welch Author, Publisher, Entrepeneur (APE): How to Publish a Book

I've posted the Kindle links for the books above.  However, all of them are available in hard copy.  I've read these.  If you can get these and read them over the next year, I'd recommend it.  I've been reading them off and on for a couple of years.  Some I return to as well.  I'm currently working my way through Lewis Hyde's The Gift and it's really been a blessing. It's enhancing the way I look at what I give out, what I create and how I choose to present it.  I'd like to think these prompts may have come out of reading parts of the book.  I've been blown away by the ideas presented in these books.  I try my best never to suggest anything that hasn't helped me in some way. Each has helped me along in terms of art, writing, business or just getting down to business and getting the work done.  Disclaimer: The links provided are my Amazon affililiate store links. 

4.  Action item: Creativity can require motion but I believe much of it happens when we can be still and connect.  It allows us the space to think, listen and be present.  I believe the best ideas also happen in the midst of activities we don't have to think about - washing dishes, showering, driving and other daily moments. This action item is about NOT being in motion. Our lives are too busy, perpetual motion. The art of being still and being present is key. Can you find a space to do that? The park, near the river, the ocean or wherever you like to get to. Be safe.  But get to a place where you can have a moment and think. If you're planning ahead, pack yourself a little lunch or go and pick up a sandwich and head to the spot. Take a book and something to write in and with.  If it's possible to not look at your phone for this hour, please try it.  You'll be glad you did.  

5.  Action item: We can create anything we want. We must watch what we speak into existence. What we choose to ask for. What our subconscious moves say about the future we create. While thinking about this last prompt, one of action, I realized I needed to also hone it myself. When you read this, the clock begins and for seven (7) calendar days there's no negative speaking. [my clock begins the moment I publish it] No counter talk. Not for yourself or others. These seven days should be about encouragement, speaking life, speaking things into existence. If you need to be quiet rather than speak or complain or put bad words into a situation then just do that. Shut up.  Also, we might have to tell some of our family members and loved ones that we're on a 7-day hiatus from talking badly about other people or ourselves.  Let's give that a rest.  We can do that.  We can be gentle with the way we speak and think about ourselves and others.  We can work towards it.  Sometimes, we need to learn to keep our mouths closed until our thoughts can align with what we want the most.  During this time we need to watch our thoughts. Think the highest thoughts of and for people,of yourself. Sometimes we get into a rut. If you like, write some of the situations down that you're working through and then figure out a way to speak positively over them. 

Note: sometimes, situations and events are what they are. We can't change them. But speaking over them changes us and gives us new perspective. I'm not asking you to be unrealistic. However sometimes we need to get a handle on how we deal with things. We need a way to see them differently if we can't completely quit. 

Wishing you a wonderful week ahead and an outstanding Monday....be sure to sign up for updates.   I hope what I've been posting is helping you.  It's been blessing me.  I sincerely believe we're all better when we help one another and when we can access our gifts and creativity.  It puts us in a space to be effective and to live a good life.  I can say it's helped me meet some of the people I love the most.  It helps me deal with the rest of the world.  Being able to photograph people, places and things, being able to write down and capture what others are feeling.  Sometimes creativity also helps us to not feel alone.  When you have nothing else, no one else, when everything has gone to shit you usually have God, yourself and your work.  It's a needed  life preserver. Those things will keep us afloat when all else tends to go wrong.  I've been thankful for the ability to create over the last few years when my years were awful.  It kept me grounded.  It kept my heart open and allowed me to find and create a home in this world.  

In other news, I've also seriously been considering creating a newsletter before the end of the year.  I have no idea what the theme is or what it'll be about but if you'd like to keep up with the creative journey and get a bit of love in your inbox then just sign up here.

Love, 

Rae

Now Playing: Doja Cat - Beautiful 

Life + Writing Prompts Vol II

If you're just catching up, then you can find Volume I of the Life + Writing Prompts with this link.

I see you've been signing up for updates and love in your inbox  and I so appreciate you!   I'm hoping I got the situation with the mail server correct. If you're not getting these, please let me know so I can work that out over the weekend. 

So let's get right to it.  This edition of the prompts may be a bit more intense.  Hopefully, you'll pull yourself together, say a prayer and then get into it. These might be one of the sets you'll consider putting in your journal.  There's no time frame.  However, should you decide to post, use the hashtag #roadto40. 

The prompts are drawn up from the experiences, the journal entries, the conversations, the blog posts and the many talks I've had over the years - with God, myself and others.  Leading up to a milestone birthday, whichever it may be, leads us to considering where we are in our lives.  Meeting our highest selves seems to be the ultimate goal.

"Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work." ~ Thomas Jefferson

LIFE + WRITING PROMPTS VOL. II

1.  "Action cures fear."  

One of our most dreaded F words is fear.  I was thinking about it and realized how fear tends to rob us of taking opportunities that could truly bless us or facing things that need to be done - in order for us to be in position for a blessing.  The idea that we might not get what we want or that we might fail also causes us to shirk back and not want to deal.  But on the other side of things, let's think about how we're missing out on something that could benefit our life. Maybe there's a lot of work ahead and we're putting it off hoping someone else will do it?  Do we feel like we can't do the project?  Is there something that has too many moving parts?  This prompt is about the planning of how to get past your fear and get your shit done.  What are the things you most want to do?  Do you have a plan in place? Do you have a list of ideas? A list of who to talk to or where to begin? Write a list of five things you're putting off.  Take the item that's most important to you and write the steps to get it done.  If you're not sure how you'll make it work, find someone you know who can put things in perspective with you. Sometimes, we need to learn who to ask for help and how to ask for help.  

2.  Write a minimum of 100 words about something you've been able to overcome and get through. How did you get through it?  It doesn't have to be large. It doesn't have to be anything anyone else knows about but you.  I don't expect you to put this out there for everyone to read it, but you should at least write yourself a little something in a private space or journal.  Personally, a lot of my work is typed into Evernote (I've fallen in love with it) and then of course there are notebooks everywhere.  This paragraph is at 100 words.

3.  Write yourself a letter, date it and seal it.  This letter is to be read by you in two years.  I recently found a letter that I wrote to myself back in 2011 when I was having a series of unfortunate events.  It's been almost four years.  When I found it while cleaning, it was addressed to me and in my handwriting.  I'd forgotten I wrote it.  I let it sit for a few days, afraid to read it. I used to not read my journals (out of fear of re-living the moments) but now I can read them and see how far I've come from the woman that was writing the entry and how I can empathize with her.  The letter?  It was beautiful and kind.  A letter to my future self about where I wanted her to be. By the time I got to the midway point (it was only a page), I was already in tears.   It tore me up because at the core of it, I've always wanted the best for myself even when I wasn't sure how to get there, even when I haven't done the best by myself or been the best to myself.  Sometimes we need to know we really and truly do love and value ourselves.

4.  Life prompt: Connect with someone close and ask them about a time or a situation they've been able to overcome.  Do they have any advice for how to face things? Do you like their life and the way the maneuver and manage?  In my case, I've been talking with my father and a few other loved ones about situations they went through.  If they happen to tell me about a difficult time, sometimes I ask them how they made it.  Sometimes they're not sure.  Other times they've come back to me and talked about what happened.  It's been a blessing and helped me to weather some true storms.   Grandparents and elders are good for this one.  But honestly, it can be your best friend or husband | wife.  Anyone you're truly close with and can talk to.  Anyone whose counsel you'd seek when you're in trouble.   You'd be amazed at the moments people will tell you about - that you might not have had any idea they've overcome. You'll be amazed at how it may bring you closer. 

5.  Let's go back to number 1.  Remember how you listed those things that you need to do? Something you're afraid to do but it has to be done?  Pick the easiest action item on that list towards the goal and do it.  If you've done it already, move to your next goal and start on taking it down.  We can work on more than one thing at a time.  It may all come together later, but we can start the work on it now.  Give yourself a star next to the item and cross it off and repeat. 

Bonus:  Since we're talking about fear this time, I'd like you to counteract some of it and write how you're uniquely designed to manage the problem(s) that you're facing.  Now, that might sound like bullshit.  But most times, we're designed for the things that we come up against.  I didn't used to think so, but problems (as a whole) are meant to mature us and help us to grow + evolve into who we're meant to be.  List some of your strengths and how those strengths can be applied to get you through. 

Well, I'm sure y'all are likely to cuss me out through this.  Know I care.  Know I've been walking the same road and dealing with the same questions you're reading.  I get it and I know how hard it can be.  This is part of my gift to you.  I promise if you attempt to do the work, it'll work for you. 

Currently listening to Sango "Trust Me"