"Know First Who You Are..."

“Know, first, who you are, and then adorn yourself accordingly.” 
― Epictetus

Over the last few months, I've had less time to do the things I want to do - but the good thing about this situation  is I've also learned quite a bit about myself.  

It's forced me to take the time I do have and get busy living.  It seems to be the glaring message over the last couple of years - which boils down to getting my shit done.  All of it.  All of the things I want to get done and are important and remaining.  Whatever I can get to - I want to get it done and enjoy my life.  I've said this before, but it's also extremely important to spend my time with people I adore and love.  I try my best to make those moments count for everything they mean to me.  

Which brings me to the reason for this post - anger and hilarity.  I've been watching a situation unfold over the last few months and while I've been angry it's turned into pure comedy at this point.   

It's a reminder to use anger as a driving force. Over the last year, I've also discovered a higher level of anger - or at least I've been able to admit when I'm hurt or angry.  Somewhere along the way, I've started to channel the anger - into action, into creativity, into productivity and using it to fuel the fire driving me to do those things that matter the most. 

Every time someone or something pisses me off these days, I try to be productive.  Lately it's meant taking my house apart and painting.  Sometimes it means long drives and photos.  Some of my best work has been created under what I'd think was duress but was more like a way to relieve the pressure.  Constructive movement.  I'm thankful for it.   Honestly, this is a new phenomenon.  It used to be that I'd be so angry I couldn't make moves.  With a turn of a decade, things look different.  I can be angry and still be focused and productive.  It was a matter of gaining control over my emotions.  

Note: never allow a situation or a person to make you so angry you become destructive.  

My father and I speak regularly about life and we were talking about the usefulness of anger. He told me every time someone pissed him off, he went out and made a move that benefited his life - bought a car, bought a house, finished a degree, reached a new level.  I find myself doing the same these days.   I've learned and read there are many stories like this... "I started my business when ____ made me angry."  "I began this [insert creative endeavor] when _____ happened. "   

Note II : In the past, I may have been angry at myself and not anyone else.  Angry for allowing someone to get over on me, or feeling as if I couldn't change a situation.  I forgave myself, I consistently forgive myself and I've moved on to other things.  The anger isn't always directed outwards - it can be directed inwards and that's the worst thing.  Push that shit out.  Channel it and go do good things - for yourself.  

Today, be encouraged to channel your frustration and anger into something productive for yourself, something that will benefit your life.  Fuel your productivity and creativity with the frustration, anger or disappointment.   Make good moves.  Make good decisions.  That's the best way to get even. 

"Get mad, then get over it. ” 
― Colin Powell

Life + Writing Prompts Vol II

If you're just catching up, then you can find Volume I of the Life + Writing Prompts with this link.

I see you've been signing up for updates and love in your inbox  and I so appreciate you!   I'm hoping I got the situation with the mail server correct. If you're not getting these, please let me know so I can work that out over the weekend. 

So let's get right to it.  This edition of the prompts may be a bit more intense.  Hopefully, you'll pull yourself together, say a prayer and then get into it. These might be one of the sets you'll consider putting in your journal.  There's no time frame.  However, should you decide to post, use the hashtag #roadto40. 

The prompts are drawn up from the experiences, the journal entries, the conversations, the blog posts and the many talks I've had over the years - with God, myself and others.  Leading up to a milestone birthday, whichever it may be, leads us to considering where we are in our lives.  Meeting our highest selves seems to be the ultimate goal.

"Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work." ~ Thomas Jefferson

LIFE + WRITING PROMPTS VOL. II

1.  "Action cures fear."  

One of our most dreaded F words is fear.  I was thinking about it and realized how fear tends to rob us of taking opportunities that could truly bless us or facing things that need to be done - in order for us to be in position for a blessing.  The idea that we might not get what we want or that we might fail also causes us to shirk back and not want to deal.  But on the other side of things, let's think about how we're missing out on something that could benefit our life. Maybe there's a lot of work ahead and we're putting it off hoping someone else will do it?  Do we feel like we can't do the project?  Is there something that has too many moving parts?  This prompt is about the planning of how to get past your fear and get your shit done.  What are the things you most want to do?  Do you have a plan in place? Do you have a list of ideas? A list of who to talk to or where to begin? Write a list of five things you're putting off.  Take the item that's most important to you and write the steps to get it done.  If you're not sure how you'll make it work, find someone you know who can put things in perspective with you. Sometimes, we need to learn who to ask for help and how to ask for help.  

2.  Write a minimum of 100 words about something you've been able to overcome and get through. How did you get through it?  It doesn't have to be large. It doesn't have to be anything anyone else knows about but you.  I don't expect you to put this out there for everyone to read it, but you should at least write yourself a little something in a private space or journal.  Personally, a lot of my work is typed into Evernote (I've fallen in love with it) and then of course there are notebooks everywhere.  This paragraph is at 100 words.

3.  Write yourself a letter, date it and seal it.  This letter is to be read by you in two years.  I recently found a letter that I wrote to myself back in 2011 when I was having a series of unfortunate events.  It's been almost four years.  When I found it while cleaning, it was addressed to me and in my handwriting.  I'd forgotten I wrote it.  I let it sit for a few days, afraid to read it. I used to not read my journals (out of fear of re-living the moments) but now I can read them and see how far I've come from the woman that was writing the entry and how I can empathize with her.  The letter?  It was beautiful and kind.  A letter to my future self about where I wanted her to be. By the time I got to the midway point (it was only a page), I was already in tears.   It tore me up because at the core of it, I've always wanted the best for myself even when I wasn't sure how to get there, even when I haven't done the best by myself or been the best to myself.  Sometimes we need to know we really and truly do love and value ourselves.

4.  Life prompt: Connect with someone close and ask them about a time or a situation they've been able to overcome.  Do they have any advice for how to face things? Do you like their life and the way the maneuver and manage?  In my case, I've been talking with my father and a few other loved ones about situations they went through.  If they happen to tell me about a difficult time, sometimes I ask them how they made it.  Sometimes they're not sure.  Other times they've come back to me and talked about what happened.  It's been a blessing and helped me to weather some true storms.   Grandparents and elders are good for this one.  But honestly, it can be your best friend or husband | wife.  Anyone you're truly close with and can talk to.  Anyone whose counsel you'd seek when you're in trouble.   You'd be amazed at the moments people will tell you about - that you might not have had any idea they've overcome. You'll be amazed at how it may bring you closer. 

5.  Let's go back to number 1.  Remember how you listed those things that you need to do? Something you're afraid to do but it has to be done?  Pick the easiest action item on that list towards the goal and do it.  If you've done it already, move to your next goal and start on taking it down.  We can work on more than one thing at a time.  It may all come together later, but we can start the work on it now.  Give yourself a star next to the item and cross it off and repeat. 

Bonus:  Since we're talking about fear this time, I'd like you to counteract some of it and write how you're uniquely designed to manage the problem(s) that you're facing.  Now, that might sound like bullshit.  But most times, we're designed for the things that we come up against.  I didn't used to think so, but problems (as a whole) are meant to mature us and help us to grow + evolve into who we're meant to be.  List some of your strengths and how those strengths can be applied to get you through. 

Well, I'm sure y'all are likely to cuss me out through this.  Know I care.  Know I've been walking the same road and dealing with the same questions you're reading.  I get it and I know how hard it can be.  This is part of my gift to you.  I promise if you attempt to do the work, it'll work for you. 

Currently listening to Sango "Trust Me"